1)Never cook bacon with your shirt off
2)Never snort Xanax
3)Ignore those who make provocative comments to your boyfriend online....they'er too far away for you to teach them a lesson anyway
4)Abortions should be mandatory in some situations
5)Communism is a great idea.....Free will gives us the right to be stupid, and unfortunately we abuse that right
6)Fish happens
7)The average person swallows 3 spiders a year while asleep
8)Long term relationships are overrated
9)Somebody should sue the makers of Captain Crunch for creating a cereal that cuts open the roof of your mouth
10)I'd rather eat a person instead of an animal, humans do awful things all the time and some of them deserve to be made in to energy and fecal matter. What has a chicken ever done to you?
11)We are becoming a self isolating society
12)You can't be a genuinely brave person if you haven't endured a great deal of hardship
13)Love is natures way of tricking us in to reproducing
14)There is no reality there is only perspective
15)The problem with dancing nude is that for some people, some body parts keep jiggling after the music stops
16)I will meet you in the hall of dissection with a pearl necklace dangling over my chest and a rusted knife smiling open,spilling crimson rivers over, my milk white breast